Feeling Blessed

I thought of creating a masterpiece article in this blog entry. But then again, i know I'm not a writer. And the purpose why i created this blog is for me to write how i feel so I decided to write from the heart instead.

I feel blessed today. Blessed with friends who cares and who did not judge me for what happened to me more than 2 years ago. It was the time when I've had depression. Although the doctor have not told me the type of depression I had. ( I have never asked.)I think I've had psychotic depression. I was hearing voices before. Voices that tells me what to do, how to think, and what other people are thinking about me and the family. To me it was all so real. For some time I thought I could hear thoughts of other people and its a special power or gift. So for quite some time I thought I could handle the "gift". Until it all went out of control and I cannot control my emotions and thoughts anymore. I became irrational and I've lost my mind. I don't know what I say and do at that time. All these things i didn't keep from some of my chosen friends. They know everything.

Just recently I've had the same experience again. But now I know I'm not going through this alone. I know aside from my family, I do have my friends. Friends who really cares. Who never leave you when you need them. They know when I am joking about this experience but deep inside I need help again. With them I need not say things bluntly. It's as if, they can interpret a single sigh.

I can say anything to them now. I can tell them about fears about the future, about being alone, about not having my own family, about questioning my faith in God. And they've been very patient... listening to every word I say. And then telling me things that would pacify my confused state...providing insights out of their own experiences that would make me feel loved and blessed. I am overwhelmed by this feeling that I have to write it down.

Oh and one more thing.... I miss another bestfriend... JESUS. I hope I can talk with him again. The kind of talking that I have with my other friends. I hope to have the kind of conversation that we used to have before... just like when I was in college. I HOPE TO TALK TO YOU SOON!!! I MISS YOU JESUS!