Today ive just went through a tough time brought about by my additional responsibilities at work. Like a fairy tale princess.... ive been saved by my prince from having such a horrible day. ;-) Guess my fairy godmother have not lost her touch. With just one magic wand and some fairy dusts.... everything was magically ok.
Well today... as i seem to be getting irritated and frustrated by trying to control this new job, ive got to talk with my love. Talk about our plans and talk about some troubles that perhaps we are going to face in the future. But we will stick to our plan of getting married. Ive had alot of people warning me about marriage. But hey.... they are married men and women.... If marriage is such a difficult matter then how come they chose to get married? Were they not using their minds then that they can say to me that im not using mine today? Quite strange. (hehehehe)
Well i know its not going to be an easy life when i get married. ( Being single isnt an easy life either. ) Im not expecting a bed of roses. With roses comes the thorns.... But i know my love will see me through. The love me and my man have for each other had been through alot despite the distance between us. And if we can get along despite the distance, what more if we are already together?
....Just thinking..... :-*
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Lucky Lucky Me.....
Lucky Me.....
A brand of instant noodles in Phils.... hahahha. I like eating noodles though. :-)
Well for me these two words have had alot of meaning these past few days. Man i feel so lucky!!! :-D
I was once taught to count my blessings so... here it goes...
1. I am lucky to have survived another year of my life.
2. I am lucky to have had this job although sometimes i hate it ;-). I guess all employees hate their job at some point once in awhile.3. I am lucky to have controlled my temper for months against my really stubborn staffs. :-D
4. I am lucky to have found out who my real friends are.
5. I feel so lucky to have such cool parents and siblings.
6. I am lucky to have had the most romantic "giant" , most loveable husband in the whole world.
Well... there they are... the greatest blessings i have so far. And with the direction that yar have been giving me.... with the help of God... Im sure i'll receive more blessings in the future. Praise be to God. Amen!
A brand of instant noodles in Phils.... hahahha. I like eating noodles though. :-)
Well for me these two words have had alot of meaning these past few days. Man i feel so lucky!!! :-D
I was once taught to count my blessings so... here it goes...
1. I am lucky to have survived another year of my life.
2. I am lucky to have had this job although sometimes i hate it ;-). I guess all employees hate their job at some point once in awhile.3. I am lucky to have controlled my temper for months against my really stubborn staffs. :-D
4. I am lucky to have found out who my real friends are.
5. I feel so lucky to have such cool parents and siblings.
6. I am lucky to have had the most romantic "giant" , most loveable husband in the whole world.
Well... there they are... the greatest blessings i have so far. And with the direction that yar have been giving me.... with the help of God... Im sure i'll receive more blessings in the future. Praise be to God. Amen!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
turning back to the old me...
I recently grew older by 1 year again... It is pretty weird to be suddenly turning 25 without even feeling that yes you are already 25. hahahaha. I guess that is why people have stopped adding numbers to their age after 18. :-)
Well.... I've had a really great year i guess. I used to be the terror of the company - "The little dragon" as staffs used to call me behind my back. When my voice starts to rise, staffs tremble. I think i have made a staff cry before due to this. But what the heck.... at such a young age i was given a really big responsibility. And how i loved it. But after a while.... i grew tired. Tired of pretending not to be affected when i yell at staffs. Not to mention the effect of this frequent yelling to my health.
I had changed....
Slowly, staffs began telling me about their problems. and slowly i learned about their concerns and was able to help them find solutions to their problems. But.... there's always a downside with this set-up. Staffs had been too relaxed.
Now im still trying to find that perfect blend of strictness and leniency to staffs. I guess ill start to be a little dragon slowly again.... until i find that perfect blend. Like blending coffee..... not too sweet but not too strong. Not to hot but not too cold.
Well.... I've had a really great year i guess. I used to be the terror of the company - "The little dragon" as staffs used to call me behind my back. When my voice starts to rise, staffs tremble. I think i have made a staff cry before due to this. But what the heck.... at such a young age i was given a really big responsibility. And how i loved it. But after a while.... i grew tired. Tired of pretending not to be affected when i yell at staffs. Not to mention the effect of this frequent yelling to my health.
I had changed....
Slowly, staffs began telling me about their problems. and slowly i learned about their concerns and was able to help them find solutions to their problems. But.... there's always a downside with this set-up. Staffs had been too relaxed.
Now im still trying to find that perfect blend of strictness and leniency to staffs. I guess ill start to be a little dragon slowly again.... until i find that perfect blend. Like blending coffee..... not too sweet but not too strong. Not to hot but not too cold.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
masks
as i grow older i suddenly developed this mastery in hiding what i feel. Suddenly i show the whole world im ok even if im really not... People say that i look younger than my age because i always smile.
ahhhhh....
smiling...
i wonder how often i get to smile from my heart. these days... that seldom happens. These days... i can only laugh when im talking with my love. But even that had been reduced. Can i blame that to the typhoon that had recently damaged alot of properties? I guess yes, to some extent. Can i blame that to lack of internet access at home? I guess, yes to some extent. Can i blame it to poverty? limited resources? I guess, yes to some extent. But as i have been repeatedly told.... a big chunk is due to I, me, myself. This masks that i wear can only be taken off by very few people.... people that are rare to find but i am lucky to find. My yarknows.... my yar can take away my mask and show me the real me. my yar can show me my real emotions. If i am mad, damn im a mad. If i am sorry, then i should feel sorry. I should not hide the pain, i should not hide my anger, i should not hide anything.
But after each day.... i go back to the old me.... hoping that one day... my yar would be with me to change me permanently. But i guess that would take alot of work. May God provide me with enough strength, courage and wisdom. I need my yar... i need him badly. I need him to remove the mask that i always wear. I need him to pacify me when things dont go my way. He would say "Its alright yar, there's no need to wear this mask anymore. I am here for you. I accept you as you are. No need to pretend now, just be you, that is enough."
ahhhhh....
smiling...
i wonder how often i get to smile from my heart. these days... that seldom happens. These days... i can only laugh when im talking with my love. But even that had been reduced. Can i blame that to the typhoon that had recently damaged alot of properties? I guess yes, to some extent. Can i blame that to lack of internet access at home? I guess, yes to some extent. Can i blame it to poverty? limited resources? I guess, yes to some extent. But as i have been repeatedly told.... a big chunk is due to I, me, myself. This masks that i wear can only be taken off by very few people.... people that are rare to find but i am lucky to find. My yarknows.... my yar can take away my mask and show me the real me. my yar can show me my real emotions. If i am mad, damn im a mad. If i am sorry, then i should feel sorry. I should not hide the pain, i should not hide my anger, i should not hide anything.
But after each day.... i go back to the old me.... hoping that one day... my yar would be with me to change me permanently. But i guess that would take alot of work. May God provide me with enough strength, courage and wisdom. I need my yar... i need him badly. I need him to remove the mask that i always wear. I need him to pacify me when things dont go my way. He would say "Its alright yar, there's no need to wear this mask anymore. I am here for you. I accept you as you are. No need to pretend now, just be you, that is enough."
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
first post
I have never thought of posting anything on the net. If it were not for my friends and my love, i would not even bother to do this. I've always been a private person. My secrets are kept in the deepest parts of me. Oh well... i think i can break some rules anyway. I'm not expecting everyone to like what ive been writing in here. However, i do respect people who can respect other people's thoughts as much as they want theirs to be respected.
Blog is a great way of knowing how other people feel in different situations. How they think when they are sad or confused.... How they feel when they are happy.... I have learned alot from what i have read from other people's blog. Somehow i feel like ive shared part of their emotional state as of the moment that they wrote something on their blog.
This is my first day... i won't be a hypocrite and say im not excited. I want my love to know i have a blog now.... I hope he'll like my blog.... and the things that i will write in here....
Blog is a great way of knowing how other people feel in different situations. How they think when they are sad or confused.... How they feel when they are happy.... I have learned alot from what i have read from other people's blog. Somehow i feel like ive shared part of their emotional state as of the moment that they wrote something on their blog.
This is my first day... i won't be a hypocrite and say im not excited. I want my love to know i have a blog now.... I hope he'll like my blog.... and the things that i will write in here....
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