Hiding Inside Myself

Alot of people has asked me why i wanted to resign from my present company. My only answer was that i am not happy working in the company. Most people would stop asking for further questions and i thank them for that.

Certainly it would be difficult to answer what lies beneath the "Not being happy reason". I am looking for something.... something that i do not know yet. I know ive lost alot of things. time for My God, love, quality family time, friends, opportunities, my self confidence, money. Whew... to think that i didnt notice i have all of these treasures before. With just one incident, ive lost all of these things. It was then that i realized, how blessed i have been. And i have noone to turn to but My God. Truly, when everyone leaves you, God will remain. No matter how hard a person denies it, no matter how hard humans push Him away, He will remain a loving Father, now and forever.

For the moment, im still nursing a broken heart and spirit, a broken self. Trying to pick up the shattered pieces that i have entrusted to some other people but was thrown away. I focused too much on the broken pieces for a long time. Now i want to change my focus to the One who can and who will heal the wounds, seal the broken pieces together and make me whole again.

To My God Almighty, to You i entrust my whole Life. Thy will be done on me. Thank you. And i love you so much!

aint it funny?

For so long ive never seen her. She's the one who introduced me to my kashif. Ooops... sorry, i dont have the right to call him mine. Ok... let me say that again.

For so long ive never seen her who introduced me to Kashif. Its just funny, how when Kashif and I were still together, she always send her staff to come to our office to assist our staffs in using the software her company made. But now that Kashif and I are not together, probably Anna told her, all of a sudden, she's the one coming here. No more other staffs.

Well... i noticed nothing has changed with her. She still pretends that nothing happened between the two of us. And what the hell... im getting out of this company anyway, so i tried to put up with her pretentions. But im still cold with her. Why? i dont know. I dont blame her for this heartache, its definitely not her fault. But somehow, i dont feel like talking to her. or even seeing her, looking at her. Its all so weird. But whatever it is. All i know is that soon im going to leave all these things behind. And everything that has something to do with this company and everything that has something to do with my love. Im going to move on. And i'll be fine.