It has been awhile since i struggled hard to control my own life.
Almost a year ago, i thought i am living a great life. My family is intact and is getting along just fine, i am doing great at work, im happy with my love... perfect...everything seems to be perfect.
But a turning point happened. I had a vehicular accident, had an arm surgery, stayed at the hospital for 7 days, then went on leave from work for 3 months. i thought how lucky ive been to still be alive.
Finally, 3 months is over and im back to work. Back to my normal life.
But things are not as they used to be. Things were not as i have expected them to be. Then one by one everything that i have treasured have been taken away from me. First my love, then my work, then lately.... a peaceful family life.
I started questioning God how come he is picking on me, how come he cannot find somebody else to give a trial to, how come it has to be me all the time. Ive always thought that i am at peace with my God but obviously during these times, i am at war with God.
I hated my life, i hated myself, i hated everybody that had contributed to this situation.
But somehow, i cannot say i hated God. I still pray.... still go to Him for refuge and protection. Somehow i feel He heard me. And so He revealed to me what He wants. He wants me to let go of everything. He wants me to put more value to things that matters most. He wants me to accept the fact that i am not the one in control of my life. And most of all, He wants me to let Him be the pilot of my life as He only wants one thing for me.... He wants me to soar high in His love for me.
Who am i to question that? I am nothing but dust. And to God Almighty, i submit my whole life. Let me trust in your everlasting love. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment